How to feel happy?

last year i tried to kill myself and i feel like i going back to the same place i tried to find packets of pills last night but was unsucessful. i recently broke up wit my bf of 3 years and since then had what was ment to be abit of fun with this guy i new a few years ago at school. hes a really nice guy and i now have feelings for him which he of course doesnt as ive acted so easy and disctusting. he knows how i feel now and ive said i cant come round anymore because i will only get hurt that he doesnt feel the same way, he was nice about it. i lost my job a few weeks ago because the company went bankrupt and i am now on my own all the time because my freinds are always working (i am looking for a job). i hate my own company i cant sleep and when i do its usually between 3-5am. i cant eat and i am constantly in hope that the fling will change his mind and end up missing me, stupid ino. ino this sounds so self absorbed but i just want to be happy and get on with things, any advise?