Trying to get over an affair!!?

Hi Guys, to make a long story short, I have been having anaffair for about 1.5 years with a loser guy, my husband found out about 6 months ago, bcz looser guy was threatning to come to my house and tell him! Hubby forgave me, loser guy snuck his way back in..don't know how this happend, but so now he didn't pay his cell phone bill so we have no way of being in contact anymore, which I think is a good thing, I did talk to him yesterday and he told me that we shouldn't be talking anymore bcz nothing is going to come of it, Iam not leaving my husband, but how do I know if I love him or not? I think about him all the time, just staring at my phone waiting for his call!! I know I need to let him go but my gosh how do I have the strength?!?!? Anyone ever gone through something like this?? Letting someone go you love is the hardest thing, but is it really love???